Is there a nice way of saying 'touch my penis or i dont really wanna hangout"?
I hope my margaritas pass through security.
so sad. i just ate the last good 'n' plenty out of the bottom of my purse.
so when he was about to cum, he screamed his mother's name and continued to pray for forgiveness. wtf
I'm just sayin' man be careful, that chick has castration written all over her.
Oh my God. He stopped counting at 22.. His senior year. I feel the STDs infecting my taint as we speak.
Don't mind the bowl full of ashes in the sink. I meant to set that on fire.
Oh, and i love you too. Im just a selfish dick who had to talk about myself first
OMG OMG OMG DID YOU KNOW THERE ARE MINI CHOCOLATE COWBOY HATS THAT MEN CAN BUY FOR THEIR PENISES?
I just want some dick and chicken fingers please advise
Now in listening to Jerome Bettis speak at the hall of fame and my boner just started twirling a terrible towel
NOBODY TALKS SHIT ABOUT PANDA EXPRESS
Let's just say if my bucket list had "fngered in the middle of a club by a complete stranger while being sprayed by UV paint" then that is well and truly ticked off.
I just found vampire teeth and a moustache in my purse. do you know why?
I just made myself 3 peanut butter sammies because I was too hungry to watch porn
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