it's a well known fact that sluts are attracted to bright colors
american apparel?
try lime green
capt morgan doesn't hurt if you honestly believe it's golden flavored kool-aid.
yah i'm on my way- is everything ok?
i'm holding a walmart bag of my own hot vomit that i closed up with some random chicks hair tie. we r pretty fucking far from ok
He gave them shots of purell and called it "acid rain" jello shots. They took them.
I hate freshman.
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I'm glad I have good healthy relationships with my one night stands
I tried to show my boob for free volcano tacos at taco bell last night. Not boobs. Just boob. The manager wasn't allowing it.
I wanna get shitfaced and yell about Tim tebow
I asked her why she named her vibrator Lorenzo and said it was the name she started screaming her first time.
dying me prepared for dead me... i woke up with my laptop open to the last snl episode, a bottle of gatorade, advil and a bag of chocolate all next to me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You hit a new plane of existence as we all watched in awe
once he tried to wake me up from my hangover nap to have sex, that's when things went downhill. he had to go.
She made me keep my boots on and say "you're welcome darlin" after every orgasm......so yes it was an awesome night.
All I wanted was a good weekend full of booze, laughs, and maybe some penis. Instead, someone is in the hospital, I didn't sleep at all last night. And not because I got laid.
Some guy at the bar last night bought us Arrowhead water and I was so drunk, it tasted good
Hi I love you will you be up for a while!
That exclamation point was a drunk decision
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