was it more than 30 minutes?
ya
then you're in a relationship
Not really fighting over the same girl. He takes her out to dinner and then I come over and fuck her. We've worked out the perfect relationship.
If someone cleans their bathroom and shaves their crotch for you you kinda have to admit the relationship to facebook
Woke up to a bouquet of flowers in my toilet bowl. Drunk hubby loves me.
I heard from anne today. She has a broken collarbone and is knocked up. Apparently florida is awesome
I know i'm the slutty cousin, but be honest. have you ever got your nose ring caught on a guy's zipper?
Your ability to be a slut in your nightmare astounds me
I would like to apologize for my MANY attempts of trying to motor boat you.
You do realize there's a subtle difference between not remembering your outfit from april 17th of last year vs forgetting that last night you undressed in the street and were grabbing every dick you could reach, right?
I cant shower it involves moving...
Just lay there and turn the water on. At least rinse off the shame.
Drinking Patron always ends with me puking or receiving anal. So make your move when I start ordering it.
Simple revenge plan: break into his house and steal one shoe of every pair
I've washed my hands three times and it still smells like Astroglide.
I don't think Buddha would recommend a sexscpade across Mexico
You WHAT?!?!
Paid. A. Homeless. Guy. To. Throw. A. Drink. In. Her. Face.
I fucking love you.
Randomize
