they just started talking about wanting to bang stephanie tanner from full house
Tell her you can forgive her unacceptable behavior because her dad and his dog weren't married when they conceived her.
As I was driving her home she congratulated each and every deer we saw for making it through the first day of dear season.
I just googled if crying burns calories
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just couldn't load the family groceries on to the same seat where I had sex 12 hours ago.
In one night, this kid threw a firecracker under a fucking cop car, crashed three seperate parties, and passed out in a tree in our backyard. Do you even know who he is?
I'm going on a valentine's date with the random guy i hooked up with in the bar bathroom this weekend...i feel like julia roberts
I can pinpoint my loss of innocence as the moment I started masturbating with my teddy bears
I rolled over and my thoughts became words and I said "oh fuck not you again" he didn't think that was too kind and asked me to leave
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Why am I feeling up grandma?!
I'm really glad a picture of you as an infant followed this text.
When you left the bar, you did two cartwheels and a heel click and RAN ALL THE WAY HOME.
I am so sorry for drunk texting you r kelly lyrics
He flipped me around so that we could have sex and both watch Die Hard... I think I found my sole mate. Merry Christmas to me!!🎄
He did a backflip because drugs
When you wanted to give that guy at McDonalds your number you asked the cashier if you could borrow "a pen or just like a straw with his blood on it". He gave you a pen.
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