All I want to do right now is burp, puke, and fart. In that order.
So, halfway through sex he stops and starts crying. He said he's worried god hates him for all his bad decisions...think he meant to imply I was one of them...
for me the strap perfect is like a chastity belt
So I just did the math and everything in this room except the computer and my clothes has been in my vagina
Facebook stalking ex-girlfriends who went to rehab. This is my life.
The fact that there are multiple ex-girlfriends who have been to rehab concerns me
I just don't understand how we smoked the EXACT same thing and I feel fine but Tim's over here serenading his fifth bowl of fruit loops with Elton John's entire discography.
It was an "I snuck in through the window at 5am with my underwear in my pocket" kind of night.
That was the #1 scariest moment in my life. I have full trust in you, I let you bite my penis for god sake.
I've decided I'm going to drink again. More. Day drinking. Night drinking. Everything. It's the responsible thing to do since I'm not pregnant
Don't shower too much, need the shame to be fresh to get the best story
so like what it comes down to is do I wanna look like a boss ass bitch or do I wanna masturbate.
We will let tequila do the talkin this weekend
If my drunken penis pic is ever to be forgiven id like to start over with all that
He drives a PT Cruiser.... that should have been my first clue.
Who the abstract fuck do you think you are!?
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