We will have to stop frequently for food, stretching legs, interesting things on the side of the road, and sex. So you might as well eat.
My mom make sausages for dinner...and all I could think of was your dog's penis..
Church boner. Awkwardddd
she was licking his armpits.
asian porn is just fucking weird. End of story.
apparently drunk me likes to play hide the puke.. was not a fun time washing all my legos.
it was like watching bambi learning to walk, if bambi was 22 and a high functioning alcoholic.
So his "youporn" cam totally caught me stealing quesadilla leftovers.
The bruises are from paintball. The money is from me being awesome
Cause its not a drunken adventure unless someone ends up in a pool
You are going to come home to a suitcase in the fridge. Just go with it.
I don't know what part of my sober brain thought it was a good idea to get stoned when I can barely walk with crutches as it is, but that part is stupid.
Drinking from the bottle. In bed. Making dinosaur noises. Oh man.
I'm gonna do it. I'm gonna write gay mortal kombat fanfic. May the gods be praised for whisky
He just made this face while he was fucking me and he looked like the hunchback of Notre Dame, I had to stop him.
I kept screaming that he looked like Khal Drogo and rode around the bar on his back.
Randomize
