Oww! U thought rug burn was bad! Fuckin carseat burn hurts like a mother!!!
Wtf?
Use the slutty part of ur brain.
i just rolled a joint on the giving tree. that book has given me so much.
We drove past his house blaring "Like a virgin" in the middle of the day. pretty sure he heard.
yes we did fuck in his chapter room. yes it was demeaning. and yes, they probably will discuss it at chapter tonight.
My walk of shame was far more interesting today. He's moving and was cleaning out his apartment, so not only was I carrying my clothes, I also walked away with 4 bottles of cheap wine and a jar of ragu.
he told me he was watching a movie and he'd be over later and i asked how long. he said 8 inches give or take. you cease to amaze me with the guys you set me up with.
Everyone knows relationships are a winter sport
When a man can't even pay attention to you when you're telling him about how big his penis is, there's something wrong
It's a hurricane, not a zombie apocalypse. WHY DID YOU BUY SHOTGUNS?!?!
She shoved a hot dog in my pocket and started grinding on it.
Using the money underagers give me to buy this semesters books.. My mom would be so proud
The tit pic search didn't go as planned, some old guy sent me a pic of his balls and said stop texting his daughter. Better luck tomorrow
Successfully defrauded the county government. What have you done today?
I found condoms in the back yard from you and your boyfriend. My house isnt a motel
Lol it's kinda hilarious. I left missing one glass... guage. I feel like Cinderella... but less classy.
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