You know what, matt, a girl is not really that interested in a relationship if she goes down on you the first time she meets you
I wish we had a justin bieber to wanna fuck when we were younger... But noooo we just had hanson
Beach body diet is off. Pizza hut worked its way back onto my google chrome top 8
there is no 'pace myself' on the blackout express
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I love how our sober spotter means you only have to stay sober enough to type your pin in an ATM
i'll prob lay in bed. its weird not having to track my wallet down, its become such a weekly habit. i suddenly have so much free time
Dear, was it your thong we found wrapped around my hairbrush next to Rachel's bed? Please explain.
All I want is tacobeell and your body
that's my favorite sentence you've ever said.
they wouldnt let me drive the convertible because i was in a bird suit :(
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He left in the middle of the night, he left his shoes behind and stole my doc martens..size 6 female. Wtf?
I lost all of my bathing suit tops.. This is both a success and a failure
It might be the most honest thing I've ever said. ...or I've had 3 vodka tonics.
Why were u walkin around mc with a toilet bowl lid handcuffed to u and carrying a stuffed Teddy bear last night?
I'm still trying to figure out who shit on the coffee table. I have confirmed beyond a reasonable doubt that it wasn't me.
I know we agreed to cock block each other from now on buttt I WANT this one. I have felt his penis, it is godly, and I am going to have it inside of me, so shut the fuck up and leave.
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