I may or may not have started my period at the bar. Good thing I have dark jeans on.
Today at work while talking to my co-worker we both realized at the same time that last year I had a one night stand with his roommate and he was in the living room drinking coffee when I did the walk of shame. YAY.
I think I'm maturing; i was gonna watch porn and then take a nap but i motivated myself to put my laundry in first.
3 different guys in my psych class know me as 3 different names and said hi to me with all 3 different names-Andrea, Grace, and Bella
I've never been more proud of you
Meh. I'll learn enough German to ask her for a handjob, then I'm out
You never cease to amaze me.
i just opened up my bathroom cabinet to get deodorant and found 4 bottles of natty. Its like the world wants me to miss this interview
They high fived over us while we gave them synchronized blowjobs. In the same bed. Under the same blanket.
I dont know what we smoked last night but I woke up and found out I started writing a book called White Trash Princess. Its the best thing Ive ever read
I'd return your shirt, but it got all wet from lying on the bathroom floor while I was in the shower with Justin's roommate...
Keep it.
He sent me a vid of himself jerking off. I hope his hands are the size of tennis rackets or it will be a very short date.
Drinking loves me for WHO I am
Just trying to get my dicks in a row.
I have no idea what those words in that order meant, but if you go to Florida send me pics of strippers
What's dad's email?
askmom@cause.idk
There's lube and condom packets all over the street we missed something awesome.
Randomize
