ive never been actively dumping during the pledge of allegiance before today...
Meh. I'll learn enough German to ask her for a handjob, then I'm out
You never cease to amaze me.
I have an asthmatic alcoholic for a roommate. That can't be safe.
Finals week has gone away, doo dah doo dah, drink martinis naked day oh da doo dah day
Counseling BFF to break up with her BF. We will get that 3-way
I've already started drinking so the earlier you get out of class the more coherent I'll probably be.
Babysitting for someone you accidently sent nudies to is so fucking awkward.
She acts like a 3 year old but with fantastic tits. This girl is the reason women are objectified
Well, we won the drunk before noon contest!
... Cuz there's nothing like having your two male roommates catching you have a good cry in the driveway at 9am on a Wednesday.
my cockatiel has aquired a taste for beer. I should not be allowed to own exotic pets.
I didn't know I was invited to an orgy.
At least I got steroids and a baguette out of the deal
Just did coke off my highschool yearbook. Not much has changed in 5 years.
It was like a single vaginal boat in a sea of one eyed monsters
Randomize
