The next morning she woke up and asked who I was and where she was.
Our Neighbors are trying to steal our ducks!
i don't mind that he's uncut. i like it! it's like a little sweater!
a cock doensn't need a sweater! especially a skin sweater! wtf.
That's like some buffalo bill hannibal lector shit.
can we take a shower together?
no need for the romantic shit. I'm a sure thing
Legit screaming match in this bar over the differences between cupcakes and muffins.
It's a bathroom floor kind of morning.
I am now best friends with a lesbian named Zulu. I am pretty hammered already and made a game time decision to stay here another night,for partying purposes
I came so hard just now that I think I may have regenerated.
I literally was just rolling on the ground and said to her 'this is what dying looks like'
I've peed outside too many times in just this past week
He brought over a bottle of tequila and a box of donuts with the Plan B, so I guess you could say things are getting pretty serious.
She wants to have a threesome with Taylor Swift. I think this is the kind of love my grandparents spoke of.
If we had a dog do you think we would be less hoe-y?
Nah
He was so traumatized by the It's a small world ride but he immediately pulled out a flask from god-knows-where and got drunk before the ride was over. The ride operator didn't blame him.
I flushed a potato down the toilet so now we have to live in a hotel.
Randomize
