Dude, TWO hot chicks on jeopardy tonight. gonna be a good one
Dude, I am so turned on right now. Hot chick with glasses from brooklyn is absolutely crushing right now, taking whole categories. might beat off to jeapordy...
do another line during during the commercial and make the magic happen during double jeopardy.
YOU CAN MICROWAVE POPTARTS!?!??!
BROstal carolina. Watching a boy drinking rum and coke out of a cup of noodle empty cup.
im in his phone as 'great ass to tap'
last night i found out that about 5 of my friends audio recorded us having sex through the bedroom door, then auto tuned it in the tpain app on his iphone.
before you smothered your pizza in mayo you blotted it with a napkin saying you were trying to watch your fat intake
He walked me home last night across campus while i fed him pasta out of a solo cup at 3 am.
I just had a formal request to dress as a boyscout for my meeting with Legal on Friday. From Legal. Time to go home.
There was a guy running for some position in our government named "young boozer" hell yes I voted for him
I kinda feel like I was hit by a Prius. Just glad it's not bus status.
party devolved into two exes battling with Cal's tiki torches, and the lawn being set on fire kinda sorta and then we all hula'ed... hulaed?
I yelled at the cab driver to slow down because my unborn children live here, and pointed to my uterus. I think my message was lost in translation though because he immediately offered me his card...
Broken heels while double fisting margaritas, picking up shirtless, bloody men and escorting them out of harms way, the meltdown when I realized I can go without a bra bc my boobs shrunk, the morning vodka red bull you were forced to drink? Which one roped you in?
I remember reading the word "lift" so I did. The alarn went off, and I thought to myself "what dumbass pulls the fucking fire alarm?" and then I realized it was me...
Let's just face it you're going to have an arrangement with your future wife your fuck me on Thursdays
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