I saw his package. It spoke to me.
I just went to a chocolate syrup wrestling party I think you need to get on my level
Just used the salt in the bottom of my mcdonalds bag from last night on the eggs i made this morning. Way too hungover for this
well i did drunkenly flip his snowmobile going 90, so i can kind of see why hes mad
he told me not to treat him like a child and then started peeing off the trampoline
I'm stranded in the Hampton area. Looks like I'm going to have to take one for the team and pass out by this applebees.
No it was the best sex I've had in months. Nothing turns me on more than getting rid of a boyfriend.
Did you know there's no emoticon to really tell you that I just consumed a magic brownie?
You convinced her to break up with her boyfriend, made out with her all night, got her to buy us all shots then went home with a different girl...
That explains the "i hate you" text. But the facebook deletion is a bit harsh
What are you doing and how can I add sex in there
Currently siting in the living room naked, staring at one of the girls across the street in her living room naked. This is like the most intense starting contest of all time.
I did the walk of shame this morning and his mom hugged me in the driveway
If there's one thing I learned yesterday, it's that if I really wanted to I could be mayor of Toronto.
It may be a clusterfuck, but I'll be looking classy as shit as I watch the nightmare unfold
I know it's going to be a good day because he didn't notice the bite mark on my butt.
Randomize
