In similar news, my cock is bigger than the plane that landed in the hudson.
Is this a definitive no? All is forlorn? Such is fine, but i'm drunk and a sucker for concrete answers
You think if I promise to behave for the rest of my life, god will let me fuck her on the regular?
i thought he was 22...he said he was 25..he was 19...im 26..it doesnt count if you dont know right?
The girl here has a popped collar. Can I slap her?
Yes. For all mankind please do.
you kept calling numbers in ur phone book and saying, "I love your show, I'm a long time listener, first time caller."
Just met a female bro. Things are weird at the rugby party.
I wish that one Sunday morning I could wake up feeling like I have my life together.
I cant feel my face. Like I dont even know if I have one. I wish I had a helmet
I lost track of him after he threw the handful of pennies at the 2 female cops and ran into the darkness. I heard a tazer and a scream. All that is left is his flip flop. Its like hes drunken man-derella.
We team puked and then made sex like wild monkeys. If that isn't love, I don't know what is.
for a while, i completely forgot that you wrote "fuck me" on my stomach before we went out. when he took my shirt off that night, he just looked down and said, "may i?". i think i'm in love
She was trying to drink out of the beer bong and she thought it didn't work. Little did she know there was no beer in there. Then she got mad at us. Girls.
You see it tends to piss fathers off when they find their daughter in the arms of a shirtless guy that neither he nor his daughter knows.
If I wasn't stoned and knee deep in cheese and crackers I'd help.
Randomize
