We took shots in honor of Shark Week.
OMG THIS GUYS LICENSE PLATE IS GETTNHRWET
im covered in puffy paint and glitter i cant find kevin and im wearing shoes that dont belong to me....come get me please
On the one hand, she would be the biggest mistake of my year. On the other hand, she's here and drunk.
I didn't know people actually cried after sex.
Just used my cancer results to get a free lap dance. Great day just got better.
she smells like cat throw up and cupcakes. i'm trying to focus on the cupcakes but it's really. hard.
What color suit is the proper "i banged the bride" attire?
I found him stumbling up to our building with a solo cup under his arm. . . He told me it was his favourite thing ever. He also told me hes never been drunk before.
I'm not going to pass up the opportunity to be half naked and covered in glitter without facing judgement or legal prosecution. I'll be there.
I think we r still a few steps from ex sex. In fact, that's never going to happen. I'm just saying on the seething-chemical-fire-of-emotional-distress-to-post -relationship-intercourse scale, I'm closer to fucking than throttling. Progress is fun.
Gotta get new sheets. ..I fucked the satin off mine.
I wouldn't call that a crush. It was more of a minor brain aneurism.
I think i just made eye contact with his roommate... while doing reverse cowgirl. Yup i have no shamee
shit i just threw up on a freshman
i don't know if i should laugh or feel bad..
nevermind it was a sophmore, laugh.
Randomize
