God help me. Come pick me up. The guy told me this is not a hotel and i had to leave.
I found the orange juice, it was hiding in the vodka...trickster.
I would drag my balls through a mile of broken glass to eat pudding out of her anus
wouldn't it be funny if when girls shaved their vaginas, they gave them sideburns?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I give out O-faces like they're halloween candy
So I'm eating my sandwich... and a penny fell out of it.
if you hear someone banging on your door early in the morning, it's me with some breakfast burritos, so don't be alarmed
The fact that we all screamed by Felicia to a bitch actually named Felicia will be a highlight of my life
I went down on her on the dining room table. That should count for something.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude, I woke up with wet dollar bills in my boxers where did you take me???
Who brings nunchucks to a funeral?
We are horrible
Yeah but we're also awesome
And god said thou shalt never deny free booze. And it was good.
woke up hungover this morning lying in a water raft covered in water.. i dont know if i should consider this good or bad
How was I supposed to know the accent was fake before i slept with him
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