omg he said he wants to insert his penis into my vagnia what do i say
tell him to stop quoting family guy
...So a 6 ft tall drag queen in heels I would kill for just told me I have a dunkable ass. I'm confused...but I'll take any compliment I can.
mrs. f**** your sons in jail, if you can help with bail please respond, if not please dont tell him i told you.
found POGS while I was cleaning my room this morning. Definitely bringing them back to school to turn into a drinking game.
his grandma walked in on us. twice. and he was truly fucking surprised when i put my pants back on.
This is simple. Just sex and high fives. No feelings.
Hes drunk and dancing naked. I can hear his dick smacking his legs from the next room.
She was into my hawaiian shirt and id never made out with a dinosaur... I feel like it worked out for everyone
hahaha every time i hear a motorcycle i think about that one time you almost died
Thanks for the flashbacks you prick.
Jessica just ate her lipstick. That's how the night is going
Started my day with puking in a trash can.... Its gonna be a beautiful day
I opened my bookbag to put my laptop in and I found two granola bars and a pregnancy test. I am clearly prepared for life
Remind me to talk to you about nipple clamps.
How can I prove that I give 401k advice and not handjobs?
I accidentally made jungle juice last night.
Randomize