just do him I won't tell jon
um i'm guessing you meant to send this to tina, thanks for the support in our relationship you whore
glow-in-the-dark stars on his ceiling from '98 totally make blowing him more romantic.
I'm pretty sure this isn't my phone, but I do like these nude pics
Hold my feet while i lean out of the window of the truck.
He met a random girl on the bus home and decided to go to Spain with her. The blackout decisions are becoming internationally epic. He has work in the morning.
I AM THE KING OF THE FRESHMEN
how did i know this would happen?
Well, thats the first guy to go to jail because of my vagina
Post that event on your timeline
Nope. Flying out tonight. Staying with my great aunt who is an ex nun turned hostel owner. Best and likely most dangerous St. Patty's Day to commence in 10 hours. IRELAND!
Be safe. And I hate you.
dropping lines from Workaholics has slowly become my icebreaker when hitting on girls. who would have thought "lets get weird" would cause girls to actually get weird
2 six inch heels, 3 big sangrias, no broken legs
The highlight of the trip was definitely my dad telling me that I "used to be his prettiest daughter."
I snapchatted him 4 pictures of me as Tarzan's dad so if he never talks to me again at least we'll know why
I just had sex with a man wearing a Darth Vader helmet....he pressed the voice button the whole time that said "I am your father". I don't think I can ever come back from this
Not sure how my purse ended up in the bushes last night... Or why there was a noodle strainer in the toilet.
There's a big difference between a penis and a toilet.
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