I'm blazed at jack in the box and my order number is 420. I wish everything in the world made this much sense.
IS FOOTBALL GONNA SUCK HIS DICK? NO, IT IS NOT
FUUUUUCK she froze all my quaters inside the ice cubes again
She narrowed it down to 7 guys that could have gotten her pregnant.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'd appreciated it if you didn't lick my boyfriends face again. I'm askin nicely. Thank you.
everyone at work keeps looking at me like they know I got the herp this weekend
Can you please tell him to stop calling me ma'am? I'm starting to remember what it's like to have self respect
I just realized I consumed seven different types of alcohol this weekend. And I'm only counting jungle juice as one of those. How the fuck did I not die?
she's unstoppable after she starts doing shots and yelling NANNER
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The object of the game was to pour tequila into a sombrero and drink as much as you can before it leaked through, 'Big Papi' won.
There's something really beautiful about walk of shaming past the Capitol.
Learning to live poor pretty well. Cashed in all the coins in my car for nearly 60 bucks and yelled at a Pizza Hut manager, insisting I have a free pizza credit, until he just gave me a pizza.
Not bad. Ran into Carlo. He shared a story about a sailor who got gonorrhea in his eye. It made me feel better about myself.
I'm getting drunk off Malibu and watching Drag Race and it's only 2 in the afternoon. I'm the poster child for sad gay men.
I was left to my own devices with nothing to do but drink
Randomize