Whssdazt areerg yiu up to? U thijk ur lame!
read your last text- its a foreign language-im not ignoring you, easyyy
its been so long since i'vebeen laid i've forgotten what a penis looks like. When a guy makes me hot i picture him finishing the job by whipping a multi-setting showerhead out of his pants.
She called it mighty mouse.. And from there it was down hill
just as he was about to cum he started shouting "I THINK I CAN! I THINK I CAN!" over and over again.
you wouldn't stop saying "oil can" in the tin man voice until I gave you back your flask
Don't mean to be rude. But did you, by any chance, cut down a tree from my neighbors backyard last night? And did you also drag it to my yard and burn it?
She fucked me for a ride to the airport. If this is what the rest of college is like, I'm never graduating.
Yay for living on the edge. I'm trying this new thing where I stop mom-arming people and promote bad decisions. It's working quite well.
What's the sex policy on a school bus? Because I dibs back seat.
Sex allowed. Dress code is neon and obnoxious.
We are gonna die. I wanna enforce the "no jumping out of moving vehicles" policy. And how are we gonna get a school bus through mcdonalds drive thru?
Would you judge me if I made John grow a bush while he is in Cancun so he doesn't cheat on me?
I met her at the quidditch match. She was the snitch and I caught her. After at the bar she walked up grabbed my hand and said snitches have flesh memories.
You were drinking whiskey from a beer bottle i dont know what you really expected...
So is the trick to long distance communication to be drunk during phone conversations?
just give up on your dreams and come get shit house drunk with me.
Jesus Christ, it's not like going swimming. You don't have to wait 20 minutes after you eat to suck a dick
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