I was at the bar last night dancing, puking in a trash can, and ordering another drink all at the same time. Have I lost my dignity?
haha no as long as you did hook up with anybody after that.
... oops
THEY SHOULD WARN YOU WHEN THEY MAKE JELLO SHOTS WITH JACK DANIELS!!! THEY SHOULD WARN YOU!!!!!!!
you have a cum towel under your bed, you're the definition of single
Before I dignify that with an answer, let me get this straight. You're asking me if I wiped my ass on the towels?
you're wrong. we DID have sex last night. just ask your roommate. you seriously don't remember him asking to join us?
He offered to drive me out of state to meet up with my fuck buddy. Like best brother in law ever.
They knew I had a party because the refrigerator settings were different, but they don't notice that we installed a new toilet seat so it's okay.
Eating nacho cheese off the carpet. How is your morning?
I am so excited I do not know how I will sleep.
It's like the Christmas morning of dicks
The amount of drugs I did this weekend make me concerned about my health but at the same time fascinated to see if I could do more
One last thing: he lists glow sticks and tacos as things he can't live without. How would we not be friends??
Now with the essential back story, I can empathize. Sorry about your beer and butthole.
Wait, but now I'm curious. In what position were y'all when the cops came? Were you guys butt ass naked in the car? 😂😂
Vomit your little heart out. You've got a long day tomorrow
My butthole is tingling. Must be the grapefruit juice
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