then for some reason i googled "how much to buy a cannon"
I just saw a girl in Albersons in spandex and curlers buying PBR. Only PBR.
Totally about to meet up with Ryan in an empty parking lot. Expect to fuck him. Yes I know it's 3am. Slutty? Possibly. Excited? Damn right.
Yea. But u kept saying "as long as she doesn't have aids" so I was concerned
the paramedic just looked at me like "you again?"
Just painted my nails at the bar... I may be getting too comfortable here.
You know, it doesn't really count as a walk of shame if you guys showered together the next morning
Things got outta hand once she told me to water-board her with Patron.
We'll wreck the fuck out of my furniture. How often does one really get the chance to fuck through a table with no negative consequences?
Girl it's 3:30 get your life together and come enjoy a bowl, some coffee and a brownie with me
He kept telling me Te Amo last night. Over and over. And that he was scared. Drunkenly. In Spanish.
You ran down the alley towards a stranger screaming "you took my beer".... Then proceeded to run into a garage, fall down, and scream about how your shirt makes you look fat.
I am drinking fireball and apple juice out of a sippy cup like a fucking toddler.
We are no longer allowed to make spur of the moment decisions about our love lives
ABSOLUTELY NOT
I've come to the conclusion that my issue is I'm not fucking a guy with a headboard
Randomize
