Never let Scott cook bacon and eggs at 2am while drunk. You should have seen the flames.
recess is on disney at 4 in the morning, insomnia has never been so rewarding
I'm in Target and the lady in front of me is buying three Summer's Eve douches, a box of fishsticks and a giant bottle of vodka. The sad thing is I get it.
some dude is stoned out of his mind in my calc class. just shouted that the teacher was a genius cause he got rid of so many numbers
Well, find something you can use as a snorkel and be aware of your surroundings.
We decided to play beer pong where the loser had to beer bong a pitcher of beer...people just started losing on purpose. It was a bad idea.
Ever had someone sing happy birthday to you during sex?
Turn on the Discovery Channel
Lets fuck to motorcycle gang fighting
My mom just found my nipple clamps...... oh God why....
Is it considered a bad morning to find your boss half naked in the parking lot of work at 7am?
That depends, how hot is your boss?
If it wasn't for the fact that I drink during my lunch break I'm pretty sure I would have quit this job by now
I think we've gotten passed awkward... the day I woke up at the palms and ur getting eaten out by the dude who just fucked me on the balcony.
you said "it's karaoke night" and tried to use my dick as a microphone
It's official. I have spent more money on weed than on textbooks this semester.
What? No, wine isn't my weakness, I just love it.
Randomize
