can you have the cops turn on the gps locator on my phone...i just woke up in a Hooters uniform and I have no idea where I am...
i just walked with a girl who was carrying a chair down the street. apparently she got mad at the bartender and took the bar stool when she left.
The girl I was getting head from just called my dick an anteater...I hate my parents for not cutting my cock tip off.
home. puking in laundry basket.
And I'm not sure if that's how you pluralize penis. Never planned on needing to know that in my life.
Yea he called the cop officer fonzarelli and asked him if he was mad because happy days was off the air. Boom, beaten and arrested
How did I roll 7 times this month and survive?\nI must be some sort of ecstasy goddess
look in the field by the highway and see if there is a high heel there. Or some Taco Bell bags.
eating on the run again ?
BECAUSE THIS IS AMERICA AND DONUTS AND TITTIES AND ALCOHOL IS WHAT THIS COUNTRY WAS FOUNDED ON
If I come in tomorrow with a cane and a seeing eye dog it's because I just mixed up my salicylic acid acne stuff with my eye makeup remover
We started off talking about nice cuddling and you turned it into fucking with a Santa hat on...
If your gig isn't over in 30 minutes I am coming on that stage to come on your dick.
I should be trashily making out with an air force cadet in the beach volleyball court by now
Saw the guy I once slept with, he was buying Beer and shit tone of diapers. Glad to see how 2016 will turn out.
Wait... where the hell did you even find a live OCTOPUS, let alone green eggs and ham?
Randomize
