did you make any bad decisions?
many, i pretty much fell in love with a freshman...it doesn't get much better than that
it was great that she threw up because that made me the only one trying to hook up with her
So chef boyardee smells exactly the same after you throw it up
i literally discovered the exact same thing last week. i had the lasagna one
ravioli
just threw up on my speech test, so much for a great semester
Registered sex offender is the model in class today.... There are too many things wrong with him getting naked in front of a lot of college students.
And I'm not sure if that's how you pluralize penis. Never planned on needing to know that in my life.
EVERY guy that's EVER been in my vagina has texted me tonight for a booty call. Narrow it down to the greatest hits or just work in timeline order?
You fucked her?! HER?!
She sent me a nudie pic with a bunch of weed nuggets all over her tits...what was I supposed to do? I don't hate America sir.
That was nice of you. Thank you for respecting the fact that I got cockblocked by a sophomore last night.
Dear Penis Owner...our records show that you are overdue for servicing...please contact our friendly associates to schedule a thoroughly satisfying experience today...operators are standing by...
The last thing I remember was you puking all over the inside of my door and him yelling "PUKING RALLY!!!"
My buddy just got straight up kicked out of the bar on my bday for water boarding people with beer and bar towels
Looking for my adderal, only found acid. What a shame
I need a rain check on breakfast. A frat boy said it was his dream to sleep with a MILF, I made his dream come true and he made me cum
There is no way I’m wasting 21 year old morning wood
The only good thing about 2020 is that the hot flight attendant neighbors are using my pool a lot. If i can keep them from wandering into my Zoom meeting with my boss I’m golden
Randomize
