you know how you have to have just the right ratio of chips to sandwich? same goes for pubes.
did i really try to jack off an athens police horse last night? please tell me youre kidding..
I need to surround myself with more reliable stoners...
it feels good to walk into a CVS and not go straight to the pharmacy counter for plan b. its been a while....
I CAME AT YOU WITH RAW FEELING
you grabbed my dick through my pants and hissed at me.
Even though ive seen her get fisted by another girl at a party, shes still a doctor.
She took the bride and groom figures and the top layer of their cake and tried to walk out of the reception with it in her purse.
Just a heads up, i'm sleeping in te back seat of your car so don't be freaked out when you see me in the A.M.
I sincerely hope you find your fuck buddy and have a wonderful night of champagne and whores
Do you think dominoes pizza would deliver faster if I told them I just had shower sex and that always makes me hungry?
My legs feel like baby dolphins
My booty call is in the theater watching Deadpool right now. Never though comics would work against me.
we found her on the beach half naked talking to a palm tree
Which half?
But we have bathrooms and they dont
I can tell just by looking at the wedding photos that the groom has hooked up with at least three of his groomsmen. I would feel bad for her except that she’s hooked up with two of the same ones.
Randomize
