I just remembered we were doing butt clenching exercising with bar straws last night
She just sent me a picture of a heart. I need to stop fucking freshman...
thanks 4 putting "im not your boyfriend baby" on my sex playlist. she just got pissed and left.
Hold my feet while i lean out of the window of the truck.
Brought 2 entire pizzas with to the bar, everyone loves us
speaking of creep .. love how I kept touching strangers faces at the bar ... and saying "Don't worry I'm a dermatologist"
These pissing matches have to stop. They led to last night's scotch through the nose shots. I'll never smell again.
Copy that. Decided to shower with a beer in a glass bottle. Gotta stop the bleeding first. Be there is 20
Is he gonna be my crazy ex? Cause we weren't even together for as long as my weeklong bicurious lesbian relationship.
He's the first man I've met that knows more about Harry Potter than I do. He shops at Goodwill and has a Game of Thrones cookbook in his apartment. This is my soulmate.
Thanks for bringing me tea/a bucket. You have earned yourself a face touch.
I walked into the living room this morning and he was there with 3 shots in a row. He said it was "tea time."
was his pinky out?
So it was all good until she started grabbing my beard and telling me to "roar little lion"
I am NOT pregnant
My barren womb can FUCK WHOEVER I want
So I love answering sex questions in intimate relationships class on a clicker when im sitting next to my cousin..
Randomize
