"Monday" is guna come over...
but its Thursday?
yeah, but she cant make it.Monday can...so there ya go
I'm telling lies about you to make you look like a good person
dude i dnt kno how, but i think theres a tampon in my butt
Just had a girl agree to give me a blowjob in exchange for wearing my jacket during class. Talk about successful negotiations. Best day of my life
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No. I do not want to discuss your lesbian tendencies with my sister.
She still started it.
Is it penis luge time yet?
Please tell me you have Advil or Tylenol or ibuprofen or a fucking baseball bat
Growing a beard is gonna make smoking a pipe look so much more majestic
I was proudly and successfully the first girl ever to get kicked out of a the bar for being too drunk last night. Loving spring break.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just got a voicemail from some strange woman with a Russian accent. Are you ok?
He doesn't have an existential crisis after we have really violent sex now which is nice
another side note: i'm officially selling my underwear on the internet
YOU SLEPT WITH A GUY WHO HAS A BILLBOARD IN HIS HONOR?
I feel like people expect me to always be a sarcastic, shade throwing drunk. And you know me, I hate to disappoint.
Having random cyber sex while watching to catch a predator just seems wrong.
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