Can I ask u a weird question?
Sure
do u have the hershy squirts too?
i'm saving my butt for my wedding night
Just so you know, I have a bf.
I guess as long as you bring single girls over and cook cannolis you will still be useful.
I'm on the bus going to class. And a cop just rolled by and I got nervous because I didn't have my seatbelt on. I have to stop smoking so much weed.
He felt like a one man threesome
I tapped out to boredom. She bought me a full meal at Subway. Two tap beers and a pretty weak long island iced tea. I'm five dollars cheaper to fuck than she is.
First date. He's wearing a tuxedo shirt and keeps asking me about our future children. Escape plan #3 is now in action...
i promise ill be ok...btw im only considered "not ok" if i end up in the hospital.
In class ... We were just assigned groups for the quarter... Remember that night we took shots from that guys pants? I now know his name
Is it sad that I just used my electrical knowledge to not only fix but improve my vibrator?
Let's just do a victory lap through all of our exes.
Dude, did you know, your blood is contaminated with over 17 non-beer fluids?
I woke up at 4 am. Literally pissed. No idea what happened. I could have fucked a cow.
also had sex in his sister's princess style bunk bed.
but you are a princess that one was appropriate.
Interlocking vagina powers go!!'
Oh god, your drunk again aren't you?
Randomize
