So she puts out... but it wasn't worth it
you puked in the cab and all over yourself and tried to convince the cabby it was there already when he got upset... then you puked again. not too convincing are you
so was this before or after i puked down the ice luge?
after taking her first shot and having her first random hook up she finally feels like she is ready for college
she has no idea
Well i have to fuck at least one of your roommates this year to keep the tradition alive.
Put you drinking hat aside for Tuesday. My buddy is bartending!
I just puked in my drinking hat.
Sorry the STD update turned into an attempt at a bootycall, but at least we both know we're clean now
No, he went to go get condoms. The least I could do was chug two beers before he got back
Seriously. What did you do to me. You have a monstercoooooock.
I can't believe I just typed monstercoooooock. Twice.
my pupils became my eyes and i slept with a cloth in my mouth again
Well would you like to come over anyway? I will be wearing sweatpants and disappointment. Also, I have Jack Daniels and I've managed to get drunk in under half an hour. But my boobs look awesome.
I'm 25 and I shit my bed last night. And I'm telling you about it. Not sure which is worse
I had a dream he was standing in front of me naked and flexing while yelling VICTORY and gizzing all over the floor.
He was simultaneously rubbing my shoulders and fucking me. I'm keeping him.
annnnd thats why you don't tip your waiter by flashing them
Randomize
