im about as happy as oj after his trial
call me tomorrow and ask me about coke-whore stripper. It hasnt happened yet, but im sure it will be plenty disappointing.
You'll be happy to know that I did indeed fracture my rib in a sex related injury
We have literally factored in $2200 for bail money in the budget. This vegas trip will be out of hand. We are signing confidentiality contracts.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i watched you ride a mechanical penis. nothing is awkward between us anymore.
Yeah just got a blowjob at busch stadium during the cardinals game childhood dream realized
It was like the titanic mixed with those sad puppy commercials mixed with jello shots
This has been your unwelcomed wake-up call, brought to you by exes united. Have a good day, to opt out please type "STOP", to continue but act as though they do not exist please enter "DON'T CARE" for random daily wake up texts by exes united please press "PSYCHO!"
2 things: 1) can you get hep from toilet water? And 2) do you know where we can get a new skillet for cheap?
Please tell me those aren't related.
I made rice.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This may be a weird question to ask someone who is 21 years old, but are you grounded?
Uhh dog found a condom. FYI its on the table by couch please dispose of it. No reply Necessary
I'm not letting you use my bathroom unsupervised anymore. You peed in the sink thinking it was a urinal...
you can't get cum all over my hair and then tell me you just want to be friends
Let me get this straight. You stopped mid foreplay to shave your legs?
Um yeah. I wasn't about to shave them if nothing was happening. And I have HBO. It's not like he's the victim here.
Im drunk taking pregnancy tests with this really hot girl...i dont know what is happening
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