I knocked on some strangers door, you didn't have to give me a fake hotel room number
planned parenthood is perfect for picking up chicks...they all put out
Its where this guy sticks a jar up his ass. Be prepared to be suspended between vomiting and cheering.
Stole every fake plant from the lobby and placed it in front of you're apartment door, Enjoy!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
As a female I reserve the right to put my ipod in my cleavage because I have no pockets and not get judged by other girls right??
Guess who left Professor Cunt on their paper by accident?
I'm taking stock of m life as of right now and my Friday night plans are to drink a 30 rack by myself so I can have a tv stand when it is finished
On another note, why did I wake up wrapped in bubble wrap. I can only assume it was for my own safety
then he grabbed my tit and yelled "FOR NARNIA!!" then dove into my vag. i think I will do him again strictly for the entertainment value
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't care who you bring as long as they are fun and not a cop
And then you two got up and shouted in near perfect unison "I'M ALWAYS A SLUT FOR BASKIN ROBBINS" The bar just looked at us horrified.
I just ordered a onesie on amazon in the back of the ambulance while my patient was sleeping. I'm an adult
So I said "fuck it" and made myself a sandwich
Is it uncouth to masturbate the night before a gyno appointment?
He was laying on a lawn chair, fell off onto his stomach and asked, "where'd the stars go?" That high.
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