in my opinion joe jonas is kinda pointless. hes just the pretty boy front runner.
I'm gonna put my relationship status as "widowed" to see if it helps me get some poon.
going to the gym drunk. fuck whoever made basketball season and getting a spring break ready body in the same season.
you asked the janitor if you could ride his floor cleaner.
The forest. Magic mushrooms. Wind trees leaves sky. That is alll.
I just saw her take the entire bowl of lime wedges from the bar and pour them all in her purse, and now using the empty bowl as a hat. Waiting for security to come and throw her ass out.
I wish we couldve been like jesus and the desiples tongith
I wrote "fuck you meg" on my toaster strudel with the icing. I call it "passive aggressive breakfast"
He's drunk and I'm pain-killer high and we're about to watch fireworks at disney world. It's gonna be fucking magical
Mind if I sleep with your cousin? If I can... thanks. If no, sorry its gonna happen.
I just masturbated to the thought of him straight up talking to me. to us having a conversation. What the hell.
He was cheering for me from the end of the bar as I sloppily ate a Ruben sandwich. It made me feel really special.
Why did the sexual harassment class show a clip from frozen?
He came and farted at the same time. My life is over.
all i remember is walking home without my pants on... when i woke up i was sleeping in between my parents in their bed, no more whiskey wednesdays
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