I am going to invent a chocolate mix for sperm.
i dont care that its taken 20 hrs to pee without hurting, BEST HATE SEX EVER.
we need to stop having unprotected sex.
ya i know. we're like the secret life of the american whores.
When you gave me the first bj i thought 'yep, this girl is going to do great things with her life'
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We were making out and then he stopped and said to me, "Your ship is right there, why don't you take your people and just go?"
well my dad not being home definitely made it less awkward to walk in carrying the bra I left wearing.
way to not show up for Habitat for Humanity, real classy...
I saved lives by not driving this morning
Its okay I walked into your house, searched for my wallet in your purse, and took a shot of Tequilia all without eye contact, right?
I was to tired to jerk him off, so he made me hold it while he thrusted into my hand.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
To sum up. The glass blower from the ren faire ate me out last night. Best ever. Go find yourself an artisan.
I'M NOT READY TO BE AB ADULT YET!!!
Lets think Pancakes and sausages into existence
Well according to all the calls, texts, and Facebook messages, I threw up on you guys last night.
I wish I were single again so I could actually have sex.
I need to be her Aladdin, and show her the world. The sex world.
Randomize