when I scratched it gently some sort of watery looking stuff came out...so then I just stopped thinknig about it.
dont quote avril lavinge. im to drunk.
Joe is yelling at the trees again.
Put your dick on his face to wake him up, dont worry its fine.
Woke up with an epic boner today, the kind where you can spin books and shit on it. FYI: don't try spinning an encyclopedia
I'm being fed tequila grapes by a girl on stilts...
I forgot if I was chewing my gum or my tongue
There are some sad choices of men in the ER. That one was missing teeth. Not the place to find a husband.
In other news, I apparently ate my retainers while rolling last night.
My night ended with a French cab driver offering me his sperm free of cost.
so the kid in line in front of me at walmart just bought roses and a Plan B pill. Happy Valentines Day.
Turns out both me and my grandpa have a guilty pleasure for South American men.
I officially have worse injuries from a baby shower than roller derby.
You poured a bottle of water into the salad bowl and said "bowls are a joke" and then poured it into your lap.
I've got a surprise in the fridge when you get back.
Is it a puppy?
Randomize
