JACOB AND UGLY BROKE UP
I feel like tequila is Gods way of lighting my fuse to do something awesome
it's a well known fact that sluts are attracted to bright colors
american apparel?
try lime green
I literally ate my thanksgiving dinner while getting a lapdance. And honestly, after that, there is no other way.
They are baked and once again have spent the last 45 mins talking about opening up a world wide business called "pickle on a stick"
Why is your signature on my underwear?
The guy I wanted to make out with just got beat up, let's roll.
He did plead exhaustion. And I made him push through it. I am like the motherfucking badass football coach of sex.
Idk. Last year there was an ice luge, glow in the dark jungle juice, and lots of naked people. I feel like I'll get pregnant just thinking about going to that party.
this speak and spell drinking game will be the death of us all.
Like wrapping my dick in silk, wrapping that in velvet, and putting it in a cloud. A warm, tight, wet cloud.
Now that makes it sound like you had sex with a guy in batman costume and you never took the mask off so you can't 100 percent be sure.
You know you're good at multi-tasking if you can get a lap dance from someone while simultaneously eating a burrito.
Wait you actually sent a text to your self saying “love you I miss you"?
Dude, I just turned down sexual favours because I need to study... What the fuck is wrong with me?
Randomize
