Hawaiian shirts and no dignity
We are always on the same wavelength...kinda eerie.
Please stop sending me picture messages of your shit. Seriously. I don't care if it looks like popcorn chicken.
woke up in a freezing tub of water at 6 am again. probably should stop the drunk baths
i just packed a bowl on a big bird place mat and smoked it in a spaceship with a slide. i love babysitting.
She had a boyfriend but was all over this drunk guy that she just met..she said she loved him and then puked all over him.
you were watching the nanny crying, saying I wish I was that thin eating twinkies. THAT DRUNK.
I hope he doesn't find the chex mix when he takes my shirt off.
I'm flagged. Drank strippers water. Flashed Dave tryin to get a job here. You order the shots. Green tea betch.
He talked to you for like two seconds while you were shit faced doing Forest Gump impressions...how is that possible?
I forgot how weird my hair bleaches and now I'm a calico
You can wake up to my rainbow of failure
I just looked at your pics on Facebook....there was cake? Where the fuck was I!?
She looks like a Midwestern news anchor that got fired so she has done nothing but eat for the past 6 months.
I told him the only reason I'd sleep with him is if we have a threesome because I'll need moral support
All I could think about was how many vaginas had been on the toliet that I was pukin in
Its like he got lessons from Jesus on how to use his tongue. And his dick.
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