So, how was the dinner
Just like the ex wife, cold, fatty, and expensive.
I was so drunk last night I wanted to download a Busta Rhymes album.
hes totally cute, too bad i slept with his father
You didn't have enough money so you tried to convince the cashier that "four dollar foot long" rolled off the tongue better. Stop drinking. Immediately.
I want an alcoholic time machine so we could skip to new years eve
I have to overdose on valtrex I had a rough weekend.
That's why I don't chug things. Because when I was a freshman in college tequila came out my nose.
he told me i smelled like babies and pine needles and he wanted to bathe with me. new boyfriend is not a keeper
WHY ARE YOU SMOKING WEED WHEN YOU JUST HAD A STROKE. AND MORE IMPORTANTLY WHY ARE YOU DOING IT WITHOUT ME.
I threw up in the darkest corner of the bar last night, then watched 2 girls freak out in disgust after walking through it. I then realised I puked on the dancefloor, took a picture and proceeded to send it to my mom.
Life's too short to be sucking dicks in cars for the rest of my life.
Hooked up with a 20 year old. Only reason I did was cos I thought he was 18
This is even better than the wine from my laundry basket
I'm drunk doing an ab workout. I can only hope I make it to bed tonight.
please tell dad to clear the porn off his tablet before he lends it to anyone from now on
Randomize
