i'm at a stripclub and this bitch just lit her nipples on fire!
saw my dad's penis on the x-ray last night. at least his hip wasn't broken
i saw like six of her guido cousins in the jersey shore trailer alone. her family is having a dinner party for the premiere tonight.
I do not want to touch your penis after this conversation.
No, she passed out instead. I have the worst luck, its like Jesus is mad at me for having the same birthday as him
You did a jig for the bouncer when you saw him. Just reminding you.
I was up all night on suicide watch. Dave was wasted and tried to strangle himself. With his own hands.
I'm not surprised. You have the libido of an Italian soccer team.
I asked the full emergency room who else was there because of homecoming and every single person raised their hand
omg i wish you could see the front of my car.
There's literally a dust print of your body and your arm trying to hold on and the other one where your fingers visibly dragged down the hood.
American Eric just peed on us from the second floor. Hes now very confused as to why his "toilet is yelling." Send help.
Bro, if we got a house, it'd basically be a revolving door for slightly overweight, but extra cute, sexually deviant girls with daddy issues.
If we try hard enough and believe in ourselves, we can still make it to Wendy's before they close
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
Look at us. Planning our business meeting. Including snacks like shrooms & trail mix.
Randomize
