Fat chicks shouldn't bartend
Oh. Thats cool. Im not dating anyone right now. Sean gave me chlamydia from some GUY he fooled around with. Im being abstinent.
Countdown til Saturday. I'd assume we're somewhere around 10,000 bottles of beer on the wall.
It got awkward when the girl working at planned parenthood continued to hit on me, after she knew about my STDs.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I may have farted on a group of children. It may not have been an accident.
Just switched my underwear without taking my pants off don't ever be ashamed to be related to me
It's a beautiful day to be high as fuck
She told me I was absolutely not allowed to sleep with him even though she knows I'm a rule breaker who loves a good challenge.
He brought me flowers and then spanked me with a Doctor Who paddle. Pretty good night, as these things go.
Awwwwwww!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I know you like got hit by a car but do you want to come to my birthday pardi
Have you ever been anal in a bush on the Vegas strip drunk?
i just want to cuddle, make out and maybe have a boob grabbed but no. someone has to have mono.
He had been licking my nipple for like 5 minutes and it wouldn't get hard. He asked me to lick my own and when I did, instant hardness. I realized I'd rather have sex with myself then this guy ..
Her hand jobs are magic. They smell like vanilla and awesomeness. She made me forget how to walk
Don’t drink the Bloody Mary - it’s vodka and salsa.
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