i just walked with a girl who was carrying a chair down the street. apparently she got mad at the bartender and took the bar stool when she left.
Hey! Thanks for asking, but it didnt go well. He threw up in the car on the way to dinner. Blind dates arent for everyone.
no. i just ate a whole thing of hot dogs. me and regret are sleepng alone tonigh.
My dream of liquor pitchers came true
my wrists were so small for the handcuffs, i could slip them off and hand the tow truck driver my keys....
I know this request is pointless but you two please try to keep the drinking and drug use to a minimal, I have bail money so write my number on your arm and a "if found call", wear a life jacket and act like a responsible 28 year old please.
I'm still not a hundred percent.. I haven't shit anything solid in two days.. I have pulled my puker muscles and I can't take deep breaths cuz of other unidentified muscles/maybe heart attack
Do you remember Kelly my alter personality? She talked like a man and would sing amazing grace?
All inclusive resorts are actually just places that livers go to die.
that bad?
u-n-l-i-m-i-t-e-d. f-r-e-e. t-e-q-u-i-l-a.
Promise me you will not let me do anything sexual with or to a mini horse no matter how drunk we get. Ever.
You know if we weren't hooking up I think we'd actually be friends
You could totally spank that new found Catholicism out of him.
just move with us, we wanted to get a dog. youre kind of the same thing..
I'm determining which apartments I'm mostly to move into based on how suitable the kitchens are for sex .
I have to touch the horse lube. :-(
Randomize
