with your own penis?
I did something stupid with eggs call me when you get up. Cops were also involved.
idk why but i just wanna to have sex with the idea of him. i don't even wanna meet him.
Remeber when I drunkenly made out with him this summer while he was getting bitched at by his girlfriend on the phone? Yeah, neither do I. But I'm pretty sure that same thing happened again last night.
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CONGRATS VODKA, YOU WON RHIS TIME..
can you come back were all locked out and alyssia's still inside passed out on the floor but more importantly i left a beer in there that's not finished
I literally recorded a toilet flushing to make it his ringtone to remind me what a piece of shit he is
When i say that im working late and also have a paper to write before 9am tomorrow all i want u to respond is saying that ur gunna come over and sexually distract me from my responsibilities. Not a fucking frowny face.
Sorry. Im on my way.
You forgot your "boyfriend" from last night on my couch. You're suppose to bring that shit with you.
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I'm ok. I've got the pantsless-with-dignity thing down pat
I feel like it is our duty to make homophobic people more afraid of us. They're never going to change, but maybe we can get to a "wrath of god" kind of worship-him-or-he'll-destroy-you-with-his-care-bear-stare type thing.
You used a fucking bud light like as lube last night. I'd get a UTI test like stat.
Your mankini haunted my dreams.
Is this because I accidentally peed on you?
I DEMAND FORESKIN
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