dats a huuuuuge bitch!
who is this????
What the fuck I just showed up to court still drunk and the judge told me I smelled like his wife
I miss Bob Barker.
Yeah, more like Douche Carey...
I think I've given more of my business cards to Chipotle trying to win free burritos than anyone else
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude you need to stop whoring out my boobs. They are for emergencies only.
Walking through campus with a grocery bag full of pot brownies. I'm like the santa claus of 4/20
Revised rule: don't put your dick in the general vacinity of mental instability.
Not even dry humping. Not even a little bit.
I walked home with him, but I had to pee...so I did...as we walked. He was so drunk he didn't even notice. Good thing I was in a dress.
We watched the first ever season of SNL and fucked for so long. He accidentally punched me in the face, but I mean, John Belushi was the background noise of our sex. I can deal with it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
As I was puking, these 2 guys started peeing next to me chanting me on
You popped the Plan B pill then clapped twice, said "mischief managed" and headed tward the bar.
I woke up and my pants were in the kitchen but my shoes were next to my bed. Do the math...
Got kicked out of the club and woke up at a frat house. Good night? Couldn't tell you. I got a date out of it I'm glad someone thinks my drinking problem is cute.
I woke up naked next to my hot manager. Left before she woke up, and worked an entire shift with her. She has no idea.
PSA. Do not shart while wearing a jock strap at work. That is all.
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