She's like the female version of the Momento guy. She keeps forgetting that I'm an asshole after we have sex.
I have no morals, kinda like you have no standards
None
apparently it's okay for him to stick his dick in my mouth but not to let me have a can of diet pepsi for the road.
They have chocolate covered tequila candy at work. This is not a drill. May be drunk by noon.
Just got done fucking the squirter chick. She came when we were in a 69. I now know what it's like to be water boarded.
Uh yeah. I ate a brick of cheese. Didn't even cut it. We were admiring the teeth marks I was leaving. We decided it was the negative of my mouth
I can promise you that this new years eve will rival the one from senior year when we got that exchange student deported.
I just woke up tangled in fishing line while wearing someone else's bathing suit with fishes drawn all over me. What kind of sex did we have?
Admittedly shitfaced... I have two questions. 1)why is the fan in my bathroom on? (Sub-text: is there a ghost?). 2) is your underwear really argyle?
Was he good-huge or like "what the fuck do i do with this"-huge
All the drunken hookups over the last year are self destructing, at least something is keeping nursing school interesting
You don't have to have sex with both if us but I would like a little positive fucking regard.
Just caught myself trying to make grilled cheese with the stove off. I think my dad knows I'm high.
If I got paid for every bad decision I've made I would be one rich bitch by now
"Because this is an ongoing legal matter" is how his morning after sex text began. So...
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