At a strip club after monster truck rally. You should be here
Operation Purity has been aborted
The guy that just projectile vomited over the balcony is now going down to find the pill he just puked up. He said he wasn't about to waste $15.
To the person who left a cup of vomit in the bathroom: I commend you for your aim but you are dead to me- not an ideal birthday present.
Dude Eric's high and buying everyone taquitos. How much room do we have in the freezer?
Lol okay. He's gonna show up with like a trunk of sex toys. He's like the mary poppins of hotel fucking.
Dude I introduced the hot Russian girl to the hot Ukrainian girls. I am a UN ambassador
Selling our snow shovel to buy more beer. Not your brightest idea.
Came home to my roommate drinking a 40 in the shower. Chugging with his hair still fully shampoo'd.
Yup, found the vomit in the side compartment. My bad.
I am high playing guitar hero naked. Please don't let me die this way
I made it 1 week... 5 business days at my new job before sleeping with my coworker.
Now just crop his dad out and add it to the spank bank.
You know what i hate? I hate when the ppl you drunkenly made out with actually want to talk to you sober. It just doesn't work that way sir.
I think/hope James is drunk. He's standing in the front lawn loudly declaring "I AM a popsicle!" Over and over....
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