I'm think I may have given your ex's number to a convicted sex offender.
Win!
I found my old addy guy via fb who clearly understands the supply and demand curve of addy during finals so he's gonna hook me up.
Its pretty simple actually, if she texts me either Grr or Rawr it means she is horny and wants to bone. its a perfect system
it was like, one of those nights where you keep going back to the fridge because you just can't get full. except, with sex.
Just paid a $5 cover at a bar I stumbled by so I could puke in a toilet and not in public.
hand shaped bruises on both boobs again....i wish i could say this is the first time.
he paid for dinner at the eiffel tower. drinks at a bar on the champs elysees. gave me a motorcycle ride back to his house, got us heineken and then took me to park overlooking paris. where he ate me out on a park bench. still have doubts about the french?
I gave him my yeast infection. HOW THE FUCK DOES THAT EVEN WORK?
why is there a chinchilla in our apartment, and where did it come from?
question nothing. DON'T QUESTION A FREE CHINCHILLA.
I should probably stop recommending my dentist to the different guys I'm seeing. That could be awkward in the future.
LMAO I like how "don't worry I'll bring chasers" is your way of assuring things will be ok
I'm glad he doesn't have a bigger dick because he'd just use it for evil anyway
I woke up in a beaver hat and contruction vest.. I need answers.
Dear in laws. I am not spending any holidays with you. I dislike your company. A lot.
Booze, boobs, blunts and batman. dude, I'm livin' the life.
Randomize
