im surounded by vag. Like smog aound LA, i am suffocating in an atmosphere of pussy
watchout when you come home, dougs at the top of the stairs naked eating doritos
we'll go far in life on tits alone.
No he didn't understand the sequence...then I started texting him these texts with vagina strategically spelt correctly in jumbles of letters.
We don't have a lot of plans besides weed and cake
I had to brake up with him.
In my experience drinking helps.
You dont want to know why?
Not really. I want to drink.
I feel like I can hear facebook. What did we smoke?
was it wrong to tell him he's welcome in my pants any time?
Not gonna make it. My ovaries are playing laser tag
She tried to gratify me left handed. Let's just say I've been placed on the 15 day DL.
An old white couple caught us smoking the foot long. THE LOOK ON THEIR FACES.
I woke up with my vibrator in my bed so I'm assuming I had a decent night.
I'm pretty sure that's why we have such good sex because we are secretly trying to kill each other
Funny you say that, I just sold my stripper pole to my mom tonight...
I'm dying of laughter, but I'm also just dying
Send help
Randomize
