Well all I remember is going to sleep being big spoon to you and waking up being little spoon to *****
Just tried calling my phone on my phone because i thought i lost my phone.
i'm going to be one of those im-wearing-a-shirt-as-a-dress girls today. dont make fun of me, i need laid
Just made a makeshift menthol by rolling a listerine strip into a regular cigarette... Poor? Who, me?
I want to have a prehistoric party. By that, I mean I want to dress up as a dinosaur and get drunk. That's all I want in life.
theres 5 guys on the side of the road with beads and their shirts off screaming at cars already.
I petted my head, told my hair it felt beautiful and needed to be let free. Then pulled out my pony tail. Cheers to weed. I lose.
i cant believe im seriously wearing his ex girlfriends underwear right now
I have words... I can't think of them tho. they keep melting together and forming you and I just want to hump it.
We need to drink more. Just think how awesome it would be to wake up in a trailer and NOT remember how wee got here.
he could've at least fucked me twice. that's just common courtesy.
I don't know what to do with my life other than going on Reddit and watching porn.
this strobe light makes my body turn on and off
woke up to two girls crawling on top of me forcefeeding me bacon. Best. Hangover. Ever.
look im sitting on my bathroom floor in my underwear snorting cocaine can we talk about this later
Randomize
