We can make salsa ya know, maybe even some hot sauce. That doesn't mean we're married.
Mom found my vibrator. all the said was 'wow, I've never seen one like this before.'
we don't live in the stone age anymore, mom
I just put my retainer in and it tastes like weed
We're so high we're finding things in the room to build a submarine with. So far we have two cardboard boxes, a piece of wood, puffy paint, and an empty bottle to use as a periscope.
Calling yourself a modern day Geisha doesn't justify being a whore.
I just had a formal request to dress as a boyscout for my meeting with Legal on Friday. From Legal. Time to go home.
woke up on the kitchen floor in the recovery position. at least drunk me remembered sober me's emt training
He made me a period mix..should I back out now?
Jello bowls to the fucking face, that or ramen spiked with liq. Those are the only options in this house.
You said that "grilled cheese was much to complex" and started to throw the buttered bread at the wall while eating all the cheese.
So far, my day has been sparkling with the tears of a thousand rainbow unicorns. I'd say this is quality shit you've grown.
I literally just skipped to the fridge when I realized we had enough vodka left to get day drunk
well, mom whipped her new boobs out at the dining room table. So yeah you could say we had a pretty casual thanksgiving
Honestly, this is a first for me. I've always prided myself on my ability to pretend to get along with others.
I made a nest in his bed. I'm not leaving
Randomize
