why is there a sandwich nailed to the wall
Just role played anchorman. And yes, I did take her to pleasure town.
our new exchange student wants to hear all about America's greatest politician, "Oprah." it's gonna be a long fucking day
I'm stoned and have been watching so many cartoons that I changed the channel and real people were on, and it scared me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I met him yesterday and now he's wanting to hold hands and kiss in public. i hate this
i just saw some one pass a baby through the drive-thru window at dairy queen.
nope, if she's going to skank it up with ginge-a-saurus douche she deserves the silent treatment.
So. She dumped me today.
Well, maybe you shouldn't have referred to going down on her as "Dumpster-Diving".
We could be the people that go there! Shuffleboard n shit. Meet strippers.
You had me at shuffleboard and strippers
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he made me feel like a shish kabob. his dick was the skewer.
and you said he wasn't worth calling.
By the way, playing "guess who I had sex with last night" was a great way to start a Thursday, or any day
Turns out the average person our age has never run from the cops. Life: we're doing it right.
Im like a hedgehog. Easy to corner or get within reach, but tough to get right close to. Like a rooster with its feathers surgically replaced with razors
I'm just trying to find the strength to put my bra back on and come inside
"I feel morally obligated to vote for him since he's my drug dealers dad"
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