i seriously hope you fucking die....you are the worst.
SHit! Sorry, sent to wrong person
nailed a girl as she was wearing a darth vader shirt. Cross that one off my list.
so looking at the guys i've dated i feel my vag is a halfway house
sent the pic of my tit to the wrong bbm chatroom
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you were watching a documentary about sharks and wouldn't stop stroking my legs and whispering "what if they could walk?"
my mom used to put diet coke in my bottle. i can pretty much handle anything.
I just headbutted my cat because he was trying to eat my bacon.
let's remember the whole point of NYE: to drink antisocial amounts of antisocial drinks, become incoherent, ruin a carpet, talk to a tree, wake up with head sellotaped to toilet. The where/how is superfluous, my vote goes to a cupboard and a bottle of jaeger Questions?
also found a pic of my head in the microwave from the other night.. hmm
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Cause a man that looks THAT good must have an ass that tastes like lucky charms
Well he's a 33 year old furniture salesman that picked up at 19 year old buying a bedroom set for her room. I can see how that would be awkward
WINE AND FILM. TALK ABOUT AN UPGRADE FROM NETFLIX AND CHILL.
Well, that's not my fault. I make decisions all the time when I'm drunk.
I remember is someone saying "I smell weed" and then having a room full of sober high school kids look at me.
Dude my cat is eating sugar cookies with me. No joke. My cat likes cookies.
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