i woke up with socks on this morning
so?
i didnt wear socks last night
i am sick of getting naked and seeing how fat i am.
Microwaved placenta is very unpleasant.
Just applied online. Cant stop hiccupping. May be drunk. Hope they liked my smiley faces.
I'm missing my class because I'm not done with my beer
I want to drop kick Stephanie Meyer
you spelled her name wrong
not you too!!
Just found a shot glass and plan b in my backpack...
Im guessing the shot glass is for plan c?
He just did blow off my nipples. He's not serious about his girlfriend.
she used teeth so i didnt tell her when i was cumming ...........dont get mad get even
Just considered playing a drinking game with powerade with my sister so she would get some fluids in her. I do so well with sick people.
As soon as the clock wound down to zero, she declared "HALF-TIME HEAD" and pulled down my pants. After the swallow, she said "BEER CHASER," got me a new one, and asked if she could make me a sandwich. Pretty sure she's lobbying hard for a ring.
Wikipedia just saved you three hours and $30 on a bar tab. You should donate.
$5. Donated.
No he reached for my hand at the beach. I pretended to be a seagull.
That moment when you're in a room with 3 guys and know how big their dicks are. Then you are married to the one with the smallest dick.
Also lets pinky promise right now that we will NOT play "Pony" outside of each other's rooms if we have a hook up over
Randomize
