I wish you were here to vomit in your hand.
you lied vaginas dont taste like gold fish!
noo i said youre golden if her vagina tastes like fish!
I coulnt tell if he was cumming or if I was throwing up
I think we should make Neil Patrick Harris a permanent part of our role playing.
So high. I just took a picture of my chewed gum so I can remember to paint a picture of it as a cloud later.
next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
Somehow I feel more guilty using her razor then I do having sex with her boyfriend...
I researched the whole pregnancy breast feeding with piercings. I think you dont have to worry about the trifecta milk spraying thing.
There's always one sober annoying person at a party. I hate responsible people. I just wanted to show everyone my nipples. There cute. She didn't have to stop me
Oh God! I'm naked from the waist down playing records. Too drunk. I don't even know what to do.
Balls out but with a shirt on. Eating ravioli. I don't know how to deal with this.
Did we really just set fireworks off in a cemetery? Or was that a dream?
I think so and I think we were sober.
Have you seen that new toaster that burns your pics to toast? Let's drink some booze and discuss what I have I mind.
He smacked my ass so hard my ass cheek looks like Wilson from Cast Away
Just saw the cop you hooked up with over break. He’s def hotter in uniform.
Tell him to stop shaving his pubes. #Notmyjam
It's taking all of my will power not to chug this margarita. This must be the life of an adult...
Randomize
