So recap time do u remember biting that girls hand?
i'm drinking margaritas from a pouch...really dont think i'm in the position to judge anyone...
Someone shattered a urinal.
You opened a bottle of wine with a shoe and a wall last night.
I'm in the Wal Mart stall where we found out you weren't pregnant. This is where I'm going to propose to you. I feel like that would be the most romantic
I dunno. Last time I went there I had got sexually propositioned by a Belgian prince.
You're the only true friend I have, if true friendship is based off who would be there for me at 4am during a boxed wine crisis.
Either I'm still drunk or the right side of the bed is now the left side.
I think i was just meant to be a stripper. A ballerina stripper cat
Why is my vagina being sacrificed for yours? I'm sure he would take a piece of you too. Your turn.
Well I'm going to hell. But I'm going after multiple orgasms.
There is a severe lack of banging on that itinerary... I'd like a revision on my desk within the hour
Science requires me to take a picture of your nipples.
I'm sorry that you wanted to get laid and I all I did was play with your new cat instead.
its 4am. iam sitting in the luggage car of the train eating beef jerkey. i feel like a hobo.
dont insult. no hobo is as pathetic as you.
Randomize
