508, what difference does it make? You were alone, anyway.
just realized i've hooked up with 3/4 of the guys here COOL
You can't have hate sex in a hallway!!
i woke up to see him pissing on your n64. thats like killing a unicorn. punishable by death for sure.
A hard boiled egg and a shot of tequila is not brunch.
My boyfriend texted me as I was texting some random hookup from last night. His text: "Morning baby" My response: "Your cum is in my hair"
i made it my goal to pee in the sink of every apartment we went to last night. i didnt use the toilet once
According to the transitive property, he has now had dick in his mouth.
i am breaking up with you. because you wash your hair too much and you only drink light beer and because you're not party enough.
being alone eating nachos and drinking from a giant munchen beermug really isnt that sad
you kept saying "i will not *breathe* regret this *breathe* in the morning *breathe* i just gotta remember *breathe* to BREATHE"
Just streaked campus for a bottle of patron...maybe you're right...I might have a drinking problem...
holy shit the woman im hooking up with is closer to my moms age than my own
I'm jealous, curious, and aroused. All at the same time.
My job here is done.
I WANNA... wait, will you kinkshame me?
Nah.
I WANNA KNOW WHAT HE SMELLS LIKE
Randomize
