Whats the glycemic index on semen?
I just saw some girl with the liscense plate "OBVIII"...I never wanted to get in a car accident so badly.
Are you asking me on a date where we get shithoused and do some fingerpainting?
My last google search of the night was "Things that cost $102.50"
Well at one point he got ahold of my archery gear.. And I. Shit. You. Not. Sarah took an arrow to the knee.
As if finding out the man you just had sex with is married isn't bad enough, it gets so much more awkward when his wife comes in to comfort you...
I got head this morning from the 31-year-old version of Jenn. It was like a blow job from the future while a simultaneous blast from the past for 10 minutes.
Everything I own smells like cigarettes and victory right now. The smell is never coming out.
We need a full length mirror. I just ate it trying to look at my shoes on the toilet. But aside from a arm bruise I'm good to go
should we try and roll a cross joint since its good friday? you know, for jesus
Nah I think he's a bit weirded out I worked out where he lives from a Facebook photo
You're not gonna like every guy whose dick I put in my mouth
Just got the test results back; apparently I'm red-green colorblind. this explains the past 18 years of my life and i'm wondering why i didn't realize this sooner
yeah true but how easily can you rip a scrotum
You can't hold me to anything I said last night; I was drunk on orgasms.
Randomize
