I wish my grandma would stop using the phrase "he pulled out" when she's talking about her contractor quitting his job.
is it gross that my labia hangs so much that guys can't find my clit?
i guess i finally out drove tiger woods this morning..
Somebody spraypainted a transformers head on a transformer box..my life is complete
Just put a sign on a baby carriage that says "all daddy wanted was a blowjob" might get fired.
How many folks do you know who bring coke to a dinner party. Seriously.
u kept pointing at random guys and making quacking or mooing sounds.
Thanks to this cookie, I have now eaten something other than skittles today.
Babe. You eat pussy like a god warrior sent from a galaxy far far away to destroy female genitalia with new realms of pleasure. That's how I know your not gay.
It's all fun and games until you throw up hot cheetos in your drawer.
aha we'll just say that my mind was so focused on A Bugs Life that it was hard to maintain an erection
Dude, all I know is that I came out of this thing wearing a snorkel mask and completely covered in glitter and soap.
I apparently used the line "I'm a bouncer too so i would know if I were too drunk" then they asked me to leave.
Sometimes I just want to serenade his penis with cheesy 80s songs.
Eventually the conversation shifted (as it always does) to Sex toys.
Randomize
