So one buddy got tackled at the urinals by national guard members and was arrested. Another had sex in a port o potty with possibly the drunkest girl I've ever encountered. The rest of us blacked out and won a few bets. So yes, the derby did meet our expectations.
update: ifinallt managed t5o be in a. Horizontal position without throwing up... the snmall victories.
He got me coffee AND filled up my gas tank. He must've fucked another girl in my car..
I'm pretty sure we organized our beer pong teams according to who's been circumsized...
yeah I'm sure your grandparents are the best but it's halloween. get a slutty costume and let's go ham.
I'm so tired of waking up with my bed full of deli meats.
I'm covered in mustard and it looks like I nose dived in to barbed wire ??? Was last night that good?
I think I just smoked a piece of your foot. Were u picking your feet by the weed?
nana can keg stand better than me. should i be proud?
He Dutch ovened me while I was hiding under the covers from his mom. Needless to say it did not end well.
I just realized I'm currently not eating carbs, drinking alcohol or having sex. 2014 is off to a horrible start.
She pinched my nipples out of nowhere as I was about to come... I think I found god
Were you citizens arresting people again last night?
She's currently singing "I'm gonna keep on lovin you" to her pillow. How do you think tonight went?
What the fuck dude?
Sorry bro...
YOU HUMPED ME FOR AN HOUR WHILE YELLING "I GOTTA ASSERT DOMINANCE"
Randomize
