are we going to glenview for practice??
(3 hrs later) aids
where r u? what is story? im way too high right now
If she didn't want me to pass out in her bathroom, then she shouldn't have such a furry rug in there
I just want a better ending for myself. Not walking around with one sock on and my bush hanging out.
She put baby oil on her toes and i am not legally allowed to talk about what happened
Dude, dont worry about the lamb fetus in the fridge.
What?
Just dont open the beer drawer.
Tequila shots with cinnamon and orange write it down before I forget
Just calculated that for my last final tomorrow I need 120% to improve my grade and 53% to keep it..buying 30 packs now, go get dressed
Things got outta hand once she told me to water-board her with Patron.
We got jeff a deep fryer for his bday. So far the count is two potatoes and your iPod.
My nipple piercings are like the guardrails, that's why they feel so safe.
Me and a 30 year old man are sitting in my bathtub in swimsuits drinking straight rum from the bottle. Don't tell me how fucked up your Christmas is.
There comes a point, as I lay on the floor of the work disabled toilets contemplating catching 10 minutes sleep between chunders, that I wonder if its really worth it
Elliott peed on my floor and slept in it lol that's a one line description.
I used your vibrator when you were out of town. Now I know why you always come out of your room smiling.
You ghosted you're own booty call. Wow what a sad sad man.
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