i saw like six of her guido cousins in the jersey shore trailer alone. her family is having a dinner party for the premiere tonight.
i was concerned for your health after you took your "last shot" four times...
When I was with my girlfriend I was averaging 1 random hookup a week. In the 2 months I've been single I haven't got any. I think I need her back.
once you get past the part where you think youre gonna die, its the most amazing drug ive ever experienced.
He pulled the washer 5 feet out from the wall screaming about quarters
There were 11 girls in that minivan and everyone was either puking, crying, or yelling "we're a total shit show"
I forgot how wholesome of a place a park is when youre not drinking there.
I never appreciated sexting until I went to rehab
Dude, you went to another fraternity's formal as a joke and came home with one of their dates. AND you managed to get her number. Please explain to me how that's not a good night.
So in my DUI class I had to write down 3 people I'd call if I needed to talk and why...they all want to meet you now...
I just bout myself an edible arrangement for myself and had it delivered to work. I even wrote myself a note. This is a new low for me.
All I got was pictures of my boss and dicks. So, that was the end of snapchat.
but like who hasn’t gotten fingered at the state fair?
How can i make it up 2 u?
DREW I AM SMOKING POT AND FUCKING. WE CANNOT DISCUSS THIS AT THIS PARTICULAR JUNCTURE.
No, I told him I was busy again this weekend. Eventually he’ll learn. Plus, absence makes the cock grow harder
Randomize
