that was the first time i tried it. why is it all sticky? its like somebody threw a glue bottle at my face.
just passed a tour group on my way home. the guide actually said: 'and THAT kids is whats known as the walk of shame'
Do you ever just KNOW it's gonna be a good day? I mean, like in a "just found a Vicodin in the bottom of your purse" kinda way?
dude, when you're random girl from last night came down the stairs this morning she fell all the way down. I laughed. She just walked out. I hope shes ok. Tell her I give her a 10 for that landing though.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My dinner last night was 3000 calories of beer. Slept kneeling on the floor w/ my head on a couch
She punched my vomit. In midair. Back into my mouth.
thanks for waiting 12 hours to ask if I was in a ditch or not
She was so morning drunk she asked the lady at brueggers for a bandaid and my self respect back
please don't fuck her on my bed i'm too poor for laundry quarters
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think they were making kool-aid in my bed. There is lots of sugar and my hands and face are stained blue.
There's a lady lying down on the sidewalk in front of our building smoking a cig
Went home last night with a guy in a tutu, didn't know he was wearing a tutu until he threw it at me in the bedroom. God I love Halloween.
Have you ever gotten so angry that you stripped in public?
For some reason drunk me always leaves sober me a banana in the morning.
There’s an entire generation of people out there who didn’t grow up watching Mr. Rogers and it shows. These Boomers need to get their shit together.
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