Joe is a total sociopath, I'm going to hook up with him tonight
sent the pic of my tit to the wrong bbm chatroom
he had two deer mounted on his dorm room wall with panties and bras hanging from the antlers... i cant believe i contributed to bambi's headgear...
Seriously just heard: "we need some good ass wine. how bout this swa-vig-non blank"
hahahaha. Oh virginia: where the south begins
I can't begin to describe what I look like walking through the grocery store with this outfit and chocolate syrup.
there was 12 of us, girls included, shirtless and wielding swords as we bet on rock paper scissors in the middle of the bar. It was like Cinco de Mayo version of the Deer Hunter
I was just stopped at a stop sign waiting for the moon to turn green.
He ate me out on the balcony. My asian neighbors cats are judging me...ALL 3 OF THEM!!
i was beyond wasted so he tucked me into bed and wrapped the blankets around me like a burrito. then gave me a bloody mary and an omlet when i woke up. and who says living with your cousin is a bad thing?!
Jen gave my number to some guy she met in NY. He sent me a picture of his weiner. He had nice shoes. I replied with a pic of bacon.
When in doubt always reply with bacon.
I don't always steal things but when i do it is a six foot five dos equis guy
If I could run through a field of Reece's and Oreos, dive off a milkfall into a bowl of cereal. My Life would complete.
He deserves someone who will touch his penis at 3 a.m.
Also I just took the BEST ass selfie of my adult life.... it's gonna be a good day haha
Is it too early to start looking for freshmen penises to corrupt with our liquor and yoga pants?
I was just wondering the same thing! Gotta be any day now
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